Column – Lyndon Hood
THE SUPER-CITY Or: A Political Map Of Present-Day Auckland – Faster than an ELECTORAL FINANCE ACT! able to leap DUE PROCESS in a single bound with his THREADBARE cloak of JUSTIFICATION (the torn REMAINS of the ROYAL COMMISSION recommendations)! The …
Satire by Lyndon Hood
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Or: A Political Map Of Present-Day Auckland
Faster than an ELECTORAL FINANCE ACT! able to leap DUE PROCESS in a single bound with his THREADBARE cloak of JUSTIFICATION (the torn REMAINS of the ROYAL COMMISSION recommendations)! The tatters suggest room for change at the edges (and provides a FIG LEAF of “CONSULTATION”) but if you have a problem with the basic fabric you’ll just have to sit back and hope it FALLS APART AT THE SEAMS.
We can now reveal the SECRET IDENTITY of the man who can DESTROY WHOLE CITIES — even from the other end of the ISLAND! “There’s only room for one RODNEY in this town!”
Some might wonder what fiendish bargain he made to get these POWERS. Before, he was about as much use as the TRAINEE SUPERHERO from that episode of THE TICK whose superpower was WITHERING SARCASM. Now all AUCKLAND LOCAL GOVERNMENT DECISIONS stand or fall on the WHIM of their OVERLORD!
His PINSTRIPE PAJAMAS indicate that GOVERNMENT has stirred quicky from its LONG SLUMBER to address the CRISIS in Auckland that NEEDS TO BE SOLVED RIGHT NOW. Or,that Auckland has only just WOKEN UP to WHAT IT’S IN FOR.
His SUPERHERO CHEST THINGY has been SEWN ON by his DAD — possibly even STITCHED UP. THE LETTER A stands for AUCKLAND. Also for ACRIMONIOUS and ARROGANT.
By your councils combined — he is SUPER CITY!
Got a problem with that? TOO SLOW!
* Super-[anything] is a trademark of Marvel Comics Inc. Used without permission — a choice made perhaps because “Great Auckland” would only remind people what happend to the Great Auks.
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